Blog #6

 

This week’s blog is on transitions that occur during the early part of the marriage.

To start the class, a short review was done on the different stages of dating. This included three of four steps, with the first being dating then courtship and engagement.

Covered in class was the proposal of marriage. Today, the couple tends to talk about this area before the actual proposal is made. This is unlike earlier times when the proposal could come as a surprise and the parties involved may or may not have been aware of the others intentions. One of the side notes covered was when the male would get on his knee/s. Proposing was similar to being knighted in the old days. This is where the queen would be showing domination with knight getting down on one or both knees and the queen would take a sword in her hand placing it on his shoulders and then reach out her arm to help the new knight back up. In this sense the male showed reverence to the female as the male was the one that was on his knees.

During the engagement, the couple should be working on areas such as budget, division of labors’, goals for each party/family unit and many other subjects. There areas of stresses associated with marriage that should have discussions with one of them being finances.

Other errors that need to be covered is the role that the couples’ parents will be involved in the newly formed family. This includes the extended family such as siblings, aunts and uncles. One of the areas covered was how was the wedding was going to be paid for. Discussions in class period was that the average cost of the wedding was approximately $28,000 today. This could cause a financial burden from newly married couple. Sometimes the bride’s parents will pay for all or the majority of the wedding with the groom parents contributing a smaller amount. Or, the couple may pay most/all of costs. The couple could make plans to keep the wedding at a low cost.

One area that could be cost effective is to use it resources Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. There is using the churches cultural hall to hold the reception. An interesting aspect brought up was the use of a non-traditional wedding reception line. That's means that the bride and groom and respective families would be allowed just to roam and discuss topics of interest with the various guests. The food served at the wedding reception could also be kept within a reasonable budget amount. This could include items such as what is commonly called finger food. I have been to a few of these type receptions, and they are well received by the various guests and it keeps the cost to the newlywed couple low.

An important area that should be discussed is that of bringing children into the world and the timing that this should occur.

One of the interesting class readings was a PowerPoint called baby Blues. This covered the changes that occur during pregnancy and the newborn baby coming into the family unit. It is interesting to note that modern society has changed and that the mother is not expected to be the only caregiver in the current time. In the past the birth was carried through by the birth giving mother, her mother and perhaps her grandmother. The couple should discuss the roles that each of them (male/female) can do and that the female can help the male in letting him feel the baby kicks during pregnancy, going to the doctor appointments and having discussions on the process of the pregnancy. This is a way to bring about “we” are having a baby and not just the mother having a baby. This can also be a change in how the baby is raised by both parents and not just a mother. It is a sharing of the joys and tribulations associated with the rearing of a child.

In “The road less traveled” by M Scott Peck a definition of love is “the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another spiritual growth”. Scriptures show that we should love thy neighbor which would include us loving our spouse as thy neighbor sometimes we forget that during periods of stress in a marriage.  Important thing to remember when the first baby arrives. Marriages take work, but together the couple can share each other’s burdens and draw closer.